Including Partners in Postpartum
When I meet with families during our prenatal consult and we discuss goals for postpartum, one thing I hear nearly every time is - “I think I want to pump and have some bottles for my partner to be able to feed with and bond with baby as well!”. I completely understand this sentiment. It seems like the most practical approach to including partner in the experience. But I want you to know that there are so many ways to include your partner in the postpartum experience (through feedings, yes) but through other avenues as well. Here’s a guide on how moms can include their partners in this process:
Encouraging skin to skin bonding
Partners need skin to skin bonding as well! Skin to skin helps encourage bonding, regulates baby’s heartbeat and temperature, and enhances the dependency relationship. This is a beautiful way for your partner to be part of the process, especially immediately after birth. Smelling, kissing, and feeling the baby close will help initiate the deep, strong connection your baby and partner will have. Encourage your partner to hold the baby up to their bare chest in the days and weeks after birth.
2. Partner tends to mom, while mom tends to baby
There is truly no better way to show love to your brand new baby then to nourish their mother. I encourage partners to feed, nourish, and tend to mom while she feeds, rocks, and soothes the baby. This is the ultimate show of love and your baby’s first demonstration of your dedication to the well being of the family. Some easy ways to show investment in the postpartum experience is rubbing your partner’s neck and shoulders after she feeds the baby, filling water bottles, and stocking postpartum healing supplies in the bathroom when they run low.
3. Dividing baby duties up as equally as possible
If mother is breastfeeding, it will of course pose as a challenge to divide feeds. But everything else, from diaper changes to baby laundry to buying diapers can be done by either partner. Ensuring that these tasks are divided as equally as possible when time allows is a great way to encourage bonding with your baby and work as a team with your partner.
4. Developing unique soothing techniques
What works with mom to soothe the baby may not work with others! Developing your own unique soothing technique is a great way to find your own special bond with your baby. Maybe your baby loves when you sing a certain song, or rock a certain way, or tickle their feet. This is an important and unique connection that your baby will associate with you. This encourages bonding & relationship.
5. Share emotions & feelings
Allowing your partner in to your thoughts is a great way to connect as a couple during postpartum. Sharing small bits like - “this part of parenting feels really hard”, or “what’s your favorite part of the day with our child?” is a beautiful way to connect on an intimate level through the highs and lows of parenting. Working as a team makes all the hard feel more manageable.
Feedings are a beautiful way to bond with your baby. But they aren’t the ONLY way to bond with your baby. If finding time to pump does not feel doable during postpartum, there’s no need to force it in the name of bonding. Follow some of these strategies and let me know what works best for you!
If you’re looking to add more support to your village during the postpartum period, feel free to reach out! I can help you find a support package that will work best for your family.
